I realized that the most prominent, talented, and innovative people never have an air about them. When you are truly gifted, there leaves little to no room for an ego. It is those who are unaware of who they are that over compensate.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend time with Darrell Wallace, Jr. The youngest and one of the first African Americans to win a NASCAR race at the age of 16. He was kind, considerate of others around him, and most importantly, Darrell was humble. He oozed of positivity. He was well accomplished and modest. How often do you find that?

On the way home, I had time to think about all the people I had come in contact with over the years. I asked myself some imperative questions After stumbling through them, I felt the need to sit down and list all of the qualities I consciously know I possess. My answers were bitter sweet, yet I embraced them all. Truthfully, they are all such a beautiful balance and they complete me. And so now I direct the question I asked myself towards you. I hope that you find light in what gave me new understanding of who I am and who I may have posed to be.

Who are you? Who are you really, beyond your appearance, your professionalism, your dreams and aspiring goals? Who are you?

Without the preparation of what you intend on being, you are a fragment of the dream that keeps you awake at night. Therefore; you find entourages, groupies, stans and “wannabes” to make you feel as though you are more than what you can be.

No one wants to go unnoticed…forgotten. So we try to bend the world, break rules and go far beyond limitations that society bombards our communities with. I want you to know that I see your visions and I understand your testimony. Trust me; I have some of my own. However, we don’t have to fight to be who we are. All you have to do is be… Your commitment to success can never go unnoticed. There will always be a young budding blossom scouting the world for aspiration. You are that aspiring spirit! You have the ability to make it.

Hindrance of our dreams comes when we are not aware of who we are and the power we possess. We add additional flamboyant accessories on top of what already sets us apart. Foolish is the one who tries to steal from others what they’ve already obtained for themselves.

After visiting that young man who has such great potential on top of his already great achievements, inspired me to be myself! He inspired me to find greatness in what I was born with. I was born with drive, grace and the strength to persevere in any circumstance. What were you born with? Allow that to blossom without worrying about who you should be for those around you. We can only be a manifestation of who were born to be. All of the added entourages, I believe, take away from what our soul unequivocally nurtures…true simplicity of undeniable beauty.

As we say “cheers” to a summer of rooftop shindigs, pool parties, unbearable heat waves and some of the best frozen concoctions we may never remember, we embrace the fall with open eyes and for most of us, open wallets! It is time for Fall and with the Fall comes “Fashion Week 2010!” Pull out the sophisticated black attire of New York City mixed with a pair of haute stiletto’s and a digital camera and as we begin to celebrate the second half of 2010.

For me, sometimes pulling together looks for the Red Carpet or special events can be tough! If it weren’t for all the guidelines that fashion week provides my reputation as a model would be ruined! Thankfully, my great friend and personal stylist Hayden has been MORE than generous when it comes to helping me stay fabulous AND for all of us thrifty shoppers, you will be happy to know that Hayden has mastered the trick of creating great looks that are also affordable. Hayden has styled everyone from America’s Next Top Model alumni’s to Jazmine Sullivan and Chrisette Michelle just to name a few.

It would only be fair that I share Hayden, one of my best fashion”go-to”secret weapons with you guys. Hayden and I have put together some of his most favorite “Cant-Live-Without” Fall fashion items. Be sure to pay close attention, the items below may change your style or even your perspective on fashion forever!

Report Signature "Caleb" Ankle Boot $299 (can be found at www.shoes.com)

Camel Cape $110 (can be found at www.topshop.com)

Ralph Lauren Brown Leather pant $998 (can be found at www.saksfifthavenue.com)

Knitted Chunky Cardigan $90 (can be found at www.topshop.com)

And this ladies and gentlemen is MY secret weapon, HAYDEN!

Every so often I catch an interesting topic on a talk show. To my understanding, the objective of a talk show is to present a situation or hot topic to the audience and allow them to make their own decision of how or what the solution should be. However, I find that a lot of talk show hosts can be bias and subsequently influence the audience to take sides regardless of the fact that we will never know the entire truth of a story.

As we read, watch and hear about all of Hollywood’s infamously scandalous relationships, we can only base our opinion and thoughts about what we have read or heard as we the readers truly do no know what they know. Our favorite celebrities have become avid cheaters, home wreckers and divorce their spouses, and some taking everything within reach when they leave.  With media serving as our biggest influence, we anticipate who will be named as the culprit in the story and who will be the victim.

Recently, we have been inundated with the story of Super producer Swizz Beats and his newlywed wife, Alicia Keys who are expecting their first child together.  For me, this seems enough reason to rejoice and celebrate two people embarking on the matrimonial journey.  Unfortunately, our perception of these two people has been tainted with rumors of Swizz’s infidelity and abandonment as it relates to his first wife and mother of 3, Mashonda.

Many of us have read Mashonda’s very public letter to Alicia expressing her personal feelings of her ex-husband’s relationship with Keys.  Our ethics or morals have us thinking, “how could he leave his children and wife for another woman!” And somehow, this situation makes Alicia Keys look a little questionable. I mean it doesn’t exactly line up with the image all of us know and respect Alicia Keys to be.  After all, isn’t she “The Superwoman” who empowers women through her music?  People started referring to Alicia Keys as the home wrecker and naturally, Mashonda is the victim, the poor single mom who was abandoned by the famous yet promiscuous beat maker.  But before we continue to make any more preconceived notions about what transpired between Swizz,  Alicia Keys and Mashonda, how about we consider that maybe this situation is far less dramatic than we think.   It’s no secret that in most of these situations the real truth is never really known and the media will keep stories like these alive for mere ratings. We all know the media did not create this situation, so to place blame solely on them wouldn’t be fair, but the media certainly didn’t hesitate to exploit the negative angle of this situation either.

Let’s consider this idea: two people once in love no longer share the same feelings they once had, despite countless efforts they are just not happy together any longer.  Maybe in reality these people decided together that they were better off separating.  For all we know, this is could be a possibility.  Unfortunately, based on the hundreds of comments on gossip blogs and magazine covers this story made, it’s obvious the general public tends to believe otherwise.   It’s frustrating that we don’t question what we hear.   Personally, I try and encourage the use of free thought.  It seems more productive to do our own research and allow for some margin of error before woefully accepting half-cooked stories the gossip rags dish out!  At the end of the day, can we blame these magazines for these tactics when we as consumers buy into them?

So the next time you see outlandish magazine headlines of gossip blogs helping you decide what makes sense, perhaps you will take a second look and ask yourself; “Who stands to benefit from this situation” and ultimately could the constant barrage of negative gossip slinging be an attempt to stretch the truth in order to sell more papers?  Your thoughts?

Essence bloggers
Essence has given me an opportunity to share my thoughts and ideals with women with whom I share so much in common.  It is important that I am able to share all that I am with you beyond my life as a model and a familiar face from TV.  I will use this blog as an opportunity to share a variety of things with you.  I will talk about everything from beauty and fashion to social issues and basically anything that touches my heart.  I welcome your comments and critiques.  My personal feelings are that this is an opportunity for open dialog and progressive thinking.  Let the conversation begin!

Essence is progressive
Essence keeps me up to date on living a more healthy life. I’m encouraged by the “Get Lifted Section” by T.D Jakes and the features on finances help me to spend my money more wisely.  I’m truly a shop-a-holic and love that Essence always gives me tips on how to create looks that are both fashionable and affordable.

Essence promotes love
I absolutely love how Essence stays focused on celebrating black love.  Whether it’s how to love your spouse more completely or how to communicate better with a family member, Essence is always at the forefront of helping us to understand how to love healthier.

Essence supports our community
Essence celebrates outstanding people in our community.  These are important people who need to be recognized and without the due diligence of Essence, I might have not known who these people are.

Essence Entertainment
Essence is always either covering or producing some of the hottest events in the country.

For the past two weeks everyone in the world has voiced an opinion on Chris Brown’s (CB) performance at this year’s BET Awards.  The two most frequently asked questions were one: Was CB’s emotional display sincere and the second, should we forgive him?
To address the first question of whether CB’s performance was sincere, only Monique’s Oscar winning performance in the movie “Precious”  was more convincing.  If CB was not sincere someone needs to tell him to forget about singing altogether and make an immediate career change because acting is his true calling.  The last time I saw anyone cry like that was me when I was 6 years old after the worst whooping of my life.  I am convinced without a shadow of a doubt that CB’s tears were coming from a place of sincerity and the uncontrollable sobbing demonstrated just how deeply he has been effected by this situation aside from his love for music icon Michael Jackson.
I’m speaking directly to my community on this next point.  As it relates to us forgiving CB, who are we to forgive anyone?  For the most part, we are devoted religious people who refer to ourselves as Christians.  What part of us engaging in a conversation about forgiving CB or anyone is Christian like? Shouldn’t that be left for God to deal with? Honestly, it’s very hypocritical and not to mention a self righteous way of thinking.  And if we believe that everything happens for a reason, perhaps God and Chris Brown know something that we don’t.   Humor me for a second, where was CB headed before this incident? Do any of us really know? We don’t know what or how CB will impact music or the lives of people he will touch in the years to come. Maybe this incident was the deterrent for CB making an even more devastating mistake in the future? Watching CB’s perform on the BET Awards and the level of success he has had prior, is anyone at all confused about his true purpose in life?  It is painfully obvious that CB was born to entertain and effect people’s lives on a grand scale.  This single incident may have been the one thing needed to keep him on track and ground him or keep him focused in order for him to fulfill his true purpose.
Rather than ask questions that are ridiculous and frankly outside of our control and the realm of understanding, let’s look deeper and examine ourselves.  Let’s ask these questions: Did we as a community handle this situation properly?  Did we do everything we could to make sure that CB and Rhianna got the lessons they needed from this ordeal?  What has this situation meant for the relationships between young people in the entertainment industry and ultimately how productive is it for us to talk about things that will never move us forward as a people or a society?… Pointless.
It is obvious that CB was headed down the wrong path in how he choose to handle himself when confronted with such a challenge, but to continue to punish, and nail him to the cross may not have been the best approach either. We have spent a better part of the past year watching CB asking and in some cases begging for forgiveness through his mandatory involvement with charity events, free concerts, public persecution with questionable positioning on magazine covers, concert cancellations and the like.  Maybe we should have been trying to help him grow up instead of continuing to beat him down.
I have my own opinions about this situation and I stand firm in knowing that what I believe is not important but what is important is that this is far too devastating of a situation for us to walk away asking questions that will never contribute to productivity and growth for our community.  We need to take situations like these and value the real lessons.